Seven long months in the Woods

Here we (a wonderful group of Outward Bound instructors) are atop a rock overlook in the Dolly Sods, W.V. This is how my spring/summer season got started. A nice relaxing trip with my colleagues.

No, I haven't been hiking the Appalachian Trail or, for that matter, the Finger Lakes Trail. I have been working for Outward Bound. The organization that I have come to love and mis-trust. More on that topic soon.

For now, I can add a funny and heartwarming story:

Tyrell Cherry, super cute tiny african american kid from Philadelphia. Goes off to the bathroom on a particularly cold day during lunch. Comes back with the bathroom bag (which has toilet paper and a small shovel inside) and drops it in the middle of the lunch circle. As he turns to get into his backpack, we all begin to notice that he has some t.p. hanging out of his pants waistband. My co-instructor: "Uh, Tyrell, you...have, you've....got..." The rest of the group: Giggles turn into full-blown-laughter-eruption, "YOOO!!! Man you got toilet paper hangin' outcha butt!!!" "Dude!!" Poor little Tyrell is embarrassed but suprisingly resilient. Tyrell: "yeah, thats mine, must have got stuck" After a few moments of everyone picking on the poor kid goes by(I generally add that this type of thing could happen to any one of us) we begin to notice something creeping its way out of the toilet bag. Sure enough, Tyrell had also put his used t.p. back in the toilet paper bag. This bag is considered a piece of gear that is carried along with us and used by everyone in the group. The point that is stressed here is that one should not contaminate the toilet bag with their own mess. Yikes, I guess me and my co-instructor have room for improvement here. So we fix Tyrell up with two sticks to chop-stick-style-lift the t.p. paper into our new garbage bag created just for the mess. I think, hmm, wonder how many other people are making this mistake and proceed to ask everyone if they have any hidden dirty t.p. paper in their bags that we should know about. This would be a great time to get rid of such an unnecessary item.

As we're cleaning up from lunch yet another item is found on the ground that causes me concern and focuses my attention to our very unique and lovable Tyrell Cherry. A pair of mini boxer briefs, grey, Hanes brand. No name written on the inside, some overly cautious parents will take that extra measure. The same sanitary-lifting-implements are put to work once again in hoisting the briefs into plain view and asking, "does anyone know whose these are?" Most students turn and face the briefs and die laughing. "Yo, man, whose draws?!" "Tyyyyyrell, getcher draws!!" Tyrell furrows his brow and inspects the waist band of the "draws". Tyrell: "does it say 12-14 on it, cause if so they are mine...I don't see it...are they mine?" Tyrell speaks in a very proper English, more so than most students we have at his age. Me: "Tyrell, I think they're yours. Bud, does that mean you're not wearing a pair?" Tyrell: "No, I have a pair on." Me: "Are you sure? You'd better double check" One detail I've left out is that Tyrell had put on his grey Outward Bound issue long under wear and proceeded to wear only a red winter cap, those wooly mittens, the grey long underwear, and some work boots. He looked, at all times on the course, like he should be opening presents on Christmas morning minus the perpetual hot-cocoa mustache. He was adorable.

So, Tyrell roots around at his waistline with his mittened hands to get into his long underwear and check if he was wearing his boxer-briefs. Sure enough! He was. Now the real question remains, how did those underwear get onto the ground in the middle of the lunch circle anyway?

These things are locked away forever into the Outward-Bound-student-vault-of-things-that-will-never-be-easily-explained. Mainly because, I think, kids are just nuts!

Bosnia in Herzegovina and Croatia

This past week Jayne attended a conference organized by her Conflict Managment program about the conflict mainly IN Bosnia Herzegovina, but involving Serbians, Bosnians, and Croatians. Turns out it was a religious and culture driven war with Serbia, an orthodox country, attempting to purge the area of Islam and create a vast empire out of the former Yugoslavia. They had had this idea for a while but with the first and second world wars they had to put it on hold.

I, not being able to attend the conference, waited a few days back in Bologna and then started out to travel to Sarajevo, on my own, and join the group once they had finished up. Perhaps you're already thinking, small town Amerian girl, crazy Liz, travelling on her own in the big bad world, what with movies like Hostel and Taken mounting fears for this kind of activity. This could be bad. Well, luckily, there were only two hiccups in my plan. First, I arrived in Ancona a day earlier than I should have, I walked around basically all day with my backpack until I finally figured this out. I stayed in a hotel and all was well. The second, as soon as I did depart on the ferry for Split, Croatia I realized that these were going to be some stormy seas and that I was not going to be able to stand it, or even just stand in general. The boat was rocking, pitching, and heaving so much that there were times when the floor disappeared from under my feet. I was sick most of the night and I was only able to sleep once I could keep down a dramamine. The best part about travelling alone was meeting a wonderful young woman from Louisiana on the bus from Split to Sarajevo. She had met a Bosniak man in Rome during a program in International Crisis Management and now she was going to meet his family. Talking to her and getting some inside tips was great and she and her very kind boyfriend dropped me off at the hotel where Jayne and the rest of the crew were staying.

So in the early 90's the scene unfolds: the capital city of Sarajevo is a geographic bowl and the serbian armies are able to surround and occupy the high-ground, leaving the people in the city helpless targets. They would bomb daily and would position snipers to shoot pedestrians sometimes, and sometimes not, so you never were sure when you went out to get your bread or water, if you were going to be hit that day. They aimed for civic buildings, historical sites, and seemingly any building. Last week our scene unfolds: Still to this day the facades of buildings and houses are riddled with bullet holes and holes from shrapnel. In sarajevo the casualties were so high and in a consentrated time, they were forced to turn all the city parks and gardens into cemetaries, everywhere you look around the city all green spaces are stuck full of white grave markers. Most of the range of years are 19something to 1994 or 1995. This war lasted for about 4 years.

We visited a town south of Sarajevo, Mostar. Not being the capital also means not receiving a lot of funding and post-war recovery aid. In the main area of town, which was also the front line between the muslims and the catholics (croatians are catholic) there were STILL skeletons of 10 story office buildings standing as if there had been an apocalyptic event. I guess there had been. However, they did rebuild the old bridge and the old town area of the city. The old town or "stari grad" as it was called was beautiful with a feeling of medieval times. Very photogenic. We visited a school, one of the only in Bosnia, who is integrating the kids under a single roof. An International World College with the International Baccelaureate curriculum. There is also one in New Mexico, maybe you know of it. It was incredibly poignant to talk with the young people. If I ever doubted that the youth are the eyes and way to the future I'm sure of it now. Our greatest hope in life is to encourage them and help build their character to have a few very important pieces in mind. I truly do believe this.

We finished up the journey with a relaxing visit to a dead tourist town, its february, cold and windy, rainy. Nobody was there and most things were closed. It was ok, i was out of money anyway, Dubruvnik, Croatia. Here we mostly sat and watched the beautiful green-blue waves crash on the amazing yellow-orange rocks. It was tranquil and a great way to introspect after the intense experience in Bosnia.

Food and Drink: this category got 4 stars in Bosnia for honestly cooked, honestly priced, humble dishes of a culture that is truly the gateway between the east and west. The coffee! Mama mia, they had "turkish" coffee which involves a beautiful copper pot, a few cuplettes and some sugar. I purchased a pot like this for myself along with a hand grinder! Just the size to take on trail, really you've got to see this thing. The main dish is called cevapcici, its a beef/lamb/sometimes pork seasoned meat grilled log basically that is eaten on a bed of chopped raw onions with a flat bread that is light and warm, sort of pita. Very humble, very delicious. Also fond of toothpicks and skewers they often have kebabs of just about anything, they wrap things in cabbage alot and I even saw some grape leaves, could have been dolmas, i'm not 100%. Domestic beer was good and cheap, I think around 50 euro cents for a pint or bottle.

Croatia gets 2 stars. Way overpriced and lackluster. We're smack dab on the Adriatic. Jayne orders fish soup and gets a tiny bowl of greasy water with rice. I ordered a Tuna salad thinking something like tuna steak on a salad would arrive, I mean is was about 20 euro. I get a bed of iceburg with an emptied can of chunk light nastiness stinkin up the place, and we were at the nicest restaurant in the old town. it was truly a shame. Luckily we were in an apartment right above the pekara, or bread shop. I made sure to load up on the chocolate filled loaves of bread. It seemed odd to be walking with an uncut loaf of wonderbread just mowing down on it. But when in Croatia...

Really, it was unforgettable. I will never forget what I had seen there and I would encourage anyone to travel there. There is so much to see and experience. It was a complete awareness enhancer to see Muslims that looked, dressed, and partied just like me. European muslims don't really enter the mind of americans when they are saying how scared they are of muslims or how most of the problems in the world come from muslims. I had never before immagined what I saw in Bosnia Herzegovina.

Marriage and a brief encounter with a friends ignorant sister

I have been in some kind of D vs. R, G vs. S, L vs. R with a friend and now his family is getting involved. His baby sister wrote a response directed at me and of course, I got fired up. Turns out me and my friend can look past these things in fact we can even see the other's point of view at times. But I don't want to drag the rest of his family into it. So, I am responding to her here in the name of decency and maturity. Although these issues do resonate within me deeply, I have always desired to be decent in conversations with adversaries and mature in times of great agony and anger.


Dear Liz,
The definition of Marriage is the unity of a man and a woman. Period. You cannot change definitions. Just because you want to completely switch a definition's meaning (eg. Amylase is the enzyme that breaks down starch. To: Catalase and amylase are the enzymes that break down starch.) will NOT make your new definition right. There is nobody stopping gay people from loving their partners. It is obvious and great that a woman can truly love another woman (and man a man), HOWEVER, they cannot share in the SACRAMENT (ever heard of that word?) of marriage. It is utilized and only celebrated by a man and woman and shall not be diluted by those of the same sex. Furthermore, marriage is solely based on religion, which is separate from government. Hereby you have no case.
Clint, Nice post. Love you much. Miss you tons! Still working on coming to visit - I got a job (bartending and catering at a high-end tavern on the river, it's a beautiful place) and am starting to save up! It might just be me now that the democrats are going to tax dad up the ass and he wont be able to send the whole fam. Hope you figure that heating system out!!
November 22, 2008 8:20 PM


MY REPLY:
First, Clint has told me awesome things about you. I (still)look forward to meeting you.
You say: "Furthermore, marriage is solely based on religion, which is separate from government. Hereby you have no case."
I ask: Read below, what do any of these benefits have to do with religion? These are all benefits bestowed upon a married couple by their government.

I cut and paste: The following material was provided by the Lambda Legal Defense and Education Fund. It is used by permission. The list below was compiled for a couple living in the United States. However, similar provisions exist in many other countries.
On the order of 1,400 legal rights are conferred upon married couples in the U.S. Typically these are composed of about 400 state benefits and over 1,000 federal benefits. Among them are the rights to:

• joint parenting;
• joint adoption;
• joint foster care, custody, and visitation (including non-biological parents);
• status as next-of-kin for hospital visits and medical decisions where one partner is too ill to be competent;
• joint insurance policies for home, auto and health;
• dissolution and divorce protections such as community property and child support;
• immigration and residency for partners from other countries;
• inheritance automatically in the absence of a will;
• joint leases with automatic renewal rights in the event one partner dies or leaves the house or apartment;
• inheritance of jointly-owned real and personal property through the right of survivorship (which avoids the time and expense and taxes in probate);
• benefits such as annuities, pension plans, Social Security, and Medicare;
• spousal exemptions to property tax increases upon the death of one partner who is a co-owner of the home;
• veterans' discounts on medical care, education, and home loans;
• joint filing of tax returns;
• joint filing of customs claims when traveling;
• wrongful death benefits for a surviving partner and children;
• bereavement or sick leave to care for a partner or child;
• decision-making power with respect to whether a deceased partner will be cremated or not and where to bury him or her;
• crime victims' recovery benefits;
• loss of consortium tort benefits;
• domestic violence protection orders;
• judicial protections and evidentiary immunity;
• and more....

Most of these legal and economic benefits cannot be privately arranged or contracted for. For example, absent a legal (or civil) marriage, there is no guaranteed joint responsibility to the partner and to third parties (including children) in such areas as child support, debts to creditors, taxes, etc. In addition, private employers and institutions often give other economic privileges and other benefits (special rates or memberships) only to married couples. And, of course, when people cannot marry, they are denied all the emotional and social benefits and responsibilities of marriage as well.

Me again: Also, why is this issue continually brought to the polls through ballot initiatives and legislative rulings? The issue is being decided through only governmental-avenues. This issue has everything to do with our legislative government. If the issue is "solely based on religion" I would think it be bothersome that Jews, Muslims, atheists, Buddhists, etc. were allowed to vote on the topic.

And yes, I've heard of Sacrament. If that were the only benefit/celebration of marriage, I wouldn't even want it.

conservatism vs. liberalism and prop-8

I can admit, as the ripe age of 26, that finally I am feeling something. I am feeling something political. Something that has yet only grazed me, nicked me, or missed me entirely. Why have I waited so long? Well, I'm privledged. I have secluded myself to the wilderness for the last 4 years and have not been surrounded by people with serious opinions on the subject, until now.
Now, I'm stationed in Italy. Surrounded by a very interesting population of people. People that are studying this topic, following the economy, politics, etc. A good friend of mine (as close as you can get when your pool of friends is severely limited) is a staunch conservative. I like talking to him because I get fired up. So here we go.

He is a firm believer in old conservative values. He doesn't beleive that gays should be allowed to marry, or really even exist. This dumbfounds me most days, especially today. He wrote a blog about his opinions on the Obama election victory and the prop-8 victory. Most of the blog was about the "horrible loss" his "team" had suffered. He tried to explain that was because it was full of old white men. He liked Sarah Palin and all her new-ness, she was the new face of the republican party. It seems that he is not the only person who beleives this. Palin has been gracing the cover of magazines, talk shows, and news programs since November 5th. I agree the republican party could use a face-lift. However, I don't think the only thing the Democratic canidate had going for himself was a fresh-face. It had a ton of money. The same thing the supporters of prop-8 had. Both movements also had a very well designed dialogue and serious powers of persuasion. It's all psycology.

Enough about the young flamboyant republican. What about the fact that prop-8 did actually pass? Has human decency come to an all time-low? How is this any different than african-american marriages being unlawful, inter-racial couples? I am certain that this will not be the final attempt to allow homosexuals the same rights as heterosexuals. In fact, I feel hopeful that I will see such rights granted in my life-time. But, right now we have an underground current of hatred (in both directions) that is shameful. I firmly believe that there will be no ill-effects on the heterosexual marriage if opportunity is granted for gays. What possibly could change? What is at the heart of marriage anyway? All this time I thought it was love. Now I realize it must not be. It must be something elite, something that is bought and contrived. If heterosexuals keep it for themselves, if its only for a certain few, than marraige is not what it purports to be. This is the way that many african americans felt when only whites could marry. This is the way inter-racial couples felt when they could not marry. I am not sure what they are afraid of. More people bonded by love? Or, are heterosexuals afraid of what happens when less people feel marginalized. It's always better for you if you know you are at the top and people can't have what you have. It ensures your power. That is psycology.

What's New

I'm in Italy. Bologna, Italy. Here they call bologna Mortadella. It is more delicious here than the oscar meyer brand. I hope to keep you more updated here are some photos for now. Ciao!

Red Hatters

So, early retirement (from Outward Bound) hasn't slowed me down or made me a homebody. No, I got out today. In fact, I spent my day with some maturing, somewhat sassy, ole' ladies. These weren't just any ole' ladies and I wasn't meerly hanging out. They had a strict fashion doctrine that only allowed them to wear any RED HAT they could find and their clothes had to be some shade (preferably 'royal') of purple. Yes, that's right I spent my day with the Southern Tier of NY chapter of the Red Hat Society. They were having a luncheon at The LOOM, my father's "space for any occasion" and odly, his retirement project. What was I doing there? Well, I was any of the following roles at any given time: greeter, muscles, waitress, sous-chef, daughter, entertainment manager, janitor and dishwasher. Here's a run-down of the day's events.

The spokeswoman for the red-hatter's, as they are casually refered to, shows up at 9:15 with a mini-van full of fake flowers, the kind one aquires at desperate moments in Michael's sale bins, assorted gift baskets all put together by herself likely and include years of undesirable and otherwise dusty accoutrements and redhat recipe cards. I think I caught a glimps of a crocheted trivet in the shape and style of an elephant. She also toted along with her a few, 20 or so, old lace curtains in lavender, coral blue, mint, and hotpink. She used these, with my help and some scissors, to make the every table spread incredibly tacky and super-busy. But hey, these ladies don't get out much, fun is fun. The ladies showed up 4, or so, at a time, bought their raffle tickets, and took to their assigned seats. I noticed many styles of red hat, none two the same. My favorite was the red poker visor and I wondered what the hatters do on the weekends or this woman was an adjunct memeber of the Las Vegas chapter. Also some Southwestern inspired Scala cowgirl redhats were dawned. None were finer and more ornate than Sheryls, she was the hostess, but also the most spirited member of the group which was exhibited not only in her hat but in her willingness to take the stage and sing out the red hatter's official song, sung to the tune of "when the saints go marching in"

They dinned exquisetly on a tomatoe basil bisque followed by finger sandwiches an quiche. The desserts seemed to never end and spanned an entire 8 ft. table buttoned down the center with a punch that was (shhhhh!) spiked by the host red-hatter, Sheryl. They ladies also got shnockered off the two bottles of "Foxy Lady" wine placed at every table. Foxy Lady advertises their wine with, whoda guesed it, a woman in a red hat and a purple shirt. I think there is coporate sponsorship here.

I was serving the ladies their meals and bussing their dishes when they began the raffle portion of the day. Their were roughly 15 gift bags and boxes, all donated by Sheryl, to give away. The tickets cost around 5 dollars and most women bought 10 or so of them. I take this opportunity to pause my hurried busing and watch. Sheryl begins pulling numbers from her ornate basket. "first numbers are 765, everyone has those, and the last numbers are 4...2...2." silence. "4...2...2, anyone have 4...2...2?" Only the sound of rummaging was in the air as the women sifted through their enormous bags to find their magnafying glasses. "O.K. Ladies someone has to have this number, 4...2...2, anyone?" Finally a giggle escapes a woman who seems to have lost some of her powers of deduction, "Oh, yes. Thats me, I have it!" Wonderful, I thought. Now that their warmed up for this raffle ticket the rest should go off with out a hitch. Well, was I wrong. Gradually the ladies would lift their creeking bodies into a posture fit for walking and shuffle their way over to the table to pick out the gift that suited them best. There seemed to be no shame is rearranging the contents of each package in accordance with their liking. The would also see no harm in taking out things they didn't want and leave the discarded gifts on the table. Strange, I thought. One woman who was obviously savvy enough to take advantage of the hearing/reading/listening/raffle ticket impaired would claim the number so frequently that by the end of the raffle I had seen her go to the table at least 4 times. Lucky, I guess.

All in all what a fine day I had working with the Red Hat organization. I thought, I should get my mother involved in this, and hell, maybe someday I could be a member. I've always been fond of red and my zodiac sign claims the color purple. Has something to do with royalty. There is nothing more regal than taking the opportunity for self-enhancement by reorganizing your gift bag to give you the best outcome, who cares what the other lady gets.

We cleaned up and ushered the ladies out. I went down to the bar and tested out all my dad's new bartending equipment, just to make sure that a quality drink came with the L.O.O.M. name. I took a delightful sip of my G & T and congratualted myself on a job well done. Maybe, Red Hatting is in my future, I thought.

So here it is August in Northern Minnesota. If you, for some strange reason, lived without any calendar or contact with the world of dates and times of year, you would know very well that it was August. A few very particular things happen here namely, the biting bugs (mosquitoes and black flies) die out. Read here: what a relief! Also, the light becomes quite a bit more golden, the rain clouds don't build up so much, and the nights are quite crisp with endless star filled skies. You may even catch a glimpse of the aurora borealis, a phenomenon that captures the imagination and leaves everyone asking, "how and why does that happen?" Personally, I can't answer that question. Sometimes I just answer the atmosphere is farting. I figure since it has a lot to do with gas I am almost right.

Also at the end of summer comes the end of the long work and the beginning of short (one-week) contract course with groups of people who already know each other and have a connection prior to their OB course. The one I'm working is for a program called Upward Bound, catchy eh? Wonder where they came up with their name? The students are all high school sophomores who, if they complete the program, they will receive partial or full scholarships to the University of Minnesota. Pretty cool deal. My understanding is they have to do summer school and accelerated classes. Also these kids are first generation college attendees, meaning their parents have not attended college. They are a very diverse group of kids, we have a Hmong girl, Muslim, Latino, Ethiopian, Asian, and American. One thing is true on an OB course; you can take people from all over the world but they will all love the mac and cheese. No problem.

Personally, I'm pooped. I have to pack to move out of the cabin I lived in here with Jayne. Her stuff, besides some random clothes, is already gone, she drove it to Houston about 4 weeks ago now. I have to fly home to NY and have two large bags that have to fit all my stuff. I am pretty sure I am going to be blindsided by the rule of thumb that packing always takes extraordinarily long and one should begin as soon as they can, not wait until the last minute. Trying to fit time to rest, pack, swim, watch the Olympics, and connect with folks is very challenging. Next time I talk to you it will be from NY. Enjoy your last days of summer! Fall is such a cool transition but for many it means back to the grind. take time to enjoy it.