All girls course

Here's to being an adolescent female. What a strange and difficult time. I can only remember a few snippits of pain and embarrassment from my own. Now I know why its not all so crystal clear, because it was the worst time of my life, and in order to move and deal I had to do some healthy blocking out. I think they all do, the people that make it that is. The permanent scars though, do travel with us. I think some injuries incurred on this four week adventure with six girls and two female instructors that may last a life time. The time people have on their Outward Bound course is so vivid it can stay present for a while, at least that has been my experience. A few photos here display their good times. Every time the camera came out, it was a good time. For me, every time I had a few sips of coffee it was a good time.

Each day it was a different play with different characters. We had many different characters, from the bully to the nurturer and from mom to sister. It was a roller coaster of emotion and drama. Luckily, I can say at the end, the very end, it all turned around. Many girls "got it", it being what we had been trying to teach them since day one. Many girls had "Ah-ha" moments. The kind when it all clicks and you finally understand why it is you are where you are, when you are there. These Ah-Ha's kind of explain your destiny in a way that you can understand and have ownership in. It's a whimsical idea to think that we have no say in our destiny, that is the idea isn't it? I would say that we have a ton of say in where we end up, and how we are when we are there. Hopefully these girls understood that a bit more after their course than before.

But, back to the bully character. If you work with teens in any capacity or expecting to have one at some point, I recommend a book by Barbara Colorosi, "The Bully, Bullied, and the Bystander." Another insightful read is about solely raising girls is "Reviving Ophelia, saving the selves of adolescent girls". These books have really helped me do my job, which is not motherhood, but has some close relation for a month at a time. Here's what Reviving Opehia Author encourages girls to do:

- Develop a 'hate it but do it' center in their brain that will help them meet long-term goals.
- Imagine themselves on good dates with respectful guys who are interested in where they wanted to go and what they wanted to do. The date should last all evening and include compliments, talk and fun.
- Learn positive ways to be independent.
- Keep diaries.
- Write poetry.
- Observe the culture with the eyes of an anthropologist in a strange society. What kinds of women and men are respected in this culture? What body shapes are considered ideal?
- Learn how to manage pain. Mixed up behavior often comes from unprocessed pain. She teaches girls to sit with their pain, listen to it rather than run from it.
- Learn the joy of altruism. Do good deeds for neighbors.
- Learn how to be independent from parents and stay emotionally connected to them.
- Develop passions and stress-relieving habits, like reading, playing piano, sports.

Maybe these tips can help even us grown up girls.

The Black Sturgeon River Senior Staff Travel

What it means to be senior staff. This question crept into my brain once or twice on this trip and I realized that it means a lot. It seemed that a lot of us senior staff at one time of another had a gut-check. A gut-check that concluded with either leaving, making a career change, or having a crappy course or OB phase. Some had just rolled with it. I imagine these folks have stayed pretty detached. Its hard to say. Anyhow, I joined a few fan clubs on this trip. Here's who and why:
Ryan Larson- This fella is always honest and sincere, up for a good hard challenge and incredibly capable with hard tasks. I got to see his very deep laughter on this trip. The kind where his eyes were watering and he put his hand over his mouth and just shook with the thought of hilariousness. It was a gift to see him enjoy himself that much. I spent some time prior with Larson on a northern river. The weather was much worse then, and we were all in a bit over our heads. I certainly wasn't ready for the kind of despair I was encountering on a daily basis. Ryan kept his head, and while I didn't see him laugh like i described above, I did see him doing everything he could for the group. We had dry fire wood, hot fires, warm water, and excellent gear. For all his contribution to my world of whitewater experience, I have a ton of gratitude. I love whitewater, and hope to love it as much as him someday very soon.

Sarah Milne- My amazing PCE partner and trip mate. So much needs to be said for the effort she put in to the PCE. I could tell that my goal of coming in early was not necessarily hers. She reacted to my desires like a leaf in the wind. What did I want? Once she knew she did it. I think in the end she was pretty pleased to have pushed it together. And with out her my dream might not have ever came true. On the sturgeon Sarah was a wise ole sage. She was sassy when we were, she was not punitive or condescending, and she dedicated her talents to us all and consistently helped out. Her ability to be a strong unwavering rock star is a talent I would like to practice.

Katie Liermann a.k.a "Lier-cat"- A barrel of laughs. The type of humor she has is so good. Her facial expressions, dry-wit, and dedication to the pun is unmatched. She kept me in high spirits and my abs in prime physical condition due to the quality and quantity of belly laughter. We laughed so hard we cried. Not only full of jokes, Lier-cat has a genuine interest in people and is easy to talk to. If we could have stopped laughing I'm positive we could have had profound conversations.

Robin Zinthefer- What an undercover dynamic person. She is on top of her game here at OB and has a ton of worldly insight to boot. She is amazingly compassionate and helpful. I had not talked much with Robin prior to this trip and I realized all that I had missed out on in that time. We started at the very same time in OB and have had some similar experiences and the differences we have have a lot to learn from. I really need to engage Robin a lot more and gather all I can from her experience.

Anita Gebauer- What can i say. Anita is entrenched in the world of enlightenment and spiritual emotion right now. She has brought a huge amount of that very same thing to my life through working, traveling, and living with her. I feel very close to Anita and at times that means I can get as frustrated with her as I can with myself or my family. This trip really showed that I take Anita's positive contribution to my life for granted and that I should cut her and myself more slack sometimes. Anita is so good at helping people. She walked an extra half mile to give Dulce some water yesterday. The type of friendship I have with Anita could last a lifetime if it is payed proper attention.

Jayne N- Well, I'm a bit biased here. Jayne and I have been together now for a year and some four months. Really not a long time in the scheme of things. The ability we have to collaborate is phenomenal, I think we also know when to stay out of each others' way, also a very good skill. We are both very headstrong and put a huge emphasis on communication and understanding. While we may over analyse what each other say, we can still manage to paddle a boat through whitewater and make it look good. Every day that I get to watch Jayne interact with her world I appreciate her choice to keep me very close in it. I was pretty sure when I met her that I loved her mind and I noticed her beauty too. We met on a river. If at times it seems like nothing else is making sense, we'll both always have a love for rivers.

Matt Pearson- I was picked on quite a bit for my apparent worship of Matty. Let me share where this has come from. Go ahead and think back to our fireside chats. Did anyone else feel the emphatic belief of OB that would radiate from his words? How about that uncertain but bold step into the challenge and unknown of instructing and life with OB that would swirl in the ideas that Matt would share? And the furrow of the eyebrows which I interpreted as wholehearted desire to be good at this work and be the person he wants to be, even though its hard. That is what I saw in Matty P out on the black sturgeon. I also saw a funny, sincere, and quiet fella that wanted to have a good time. His energy lit a fire in me and that's something I'm always on the lookout for. Thanks Matty.

So not much more needs to be said about how wonderful the trip was. A Cecere-ism sums it up perfectly, "Living the dream."